Monday, August 2, 2010

Snippets [Special Edition]

Random Snippets

Andrew: Life should be more like "Brave New World".

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Erotic play for the kids, youthful looks till you are like 40 or something and promiscuity is encouraged.

Chris: That sounds like heaven.

Andrew: Certainly does!

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Andrew: So are you done with Uni now?

Chris: For the semester. I go back on January 11th.

Andrew: I still have a week left.

Chris: Of?

Andrew: Guess.

Chris: Work.

Andrew: Yup.

Chris: And then?

Andrew: I explode.

Chris: Awesome!

Andrew: It should be a pleasurable experience, I'm looking forward to it.

Chris: So I've heard.

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Andrew: Give it away!

Chris: :-P

Andrew: I say that to all the girls.

Chris: And they say?

Andrew: They say "Give it away!", then I say "Give it away now!".

Chris: XD

Andrew: I think I make you do that almost everyday.

Chris: Only because you're so awesome.

Andrew: Or you are easily pleased, or both, or all three.

Chris: All three!

Andrew: That's the answer to so many of life's questions.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Like, which sister do I get with?

Chris: All three!

Andrew: That was assumed, but yeah. :P

Chris: :P

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Chris: Damn. I lost my place in line helping out that invalid.

Andrew: I'm not an invalid!

Chris: I know!
Chris: That, and I made the mistake of coming to Wendy's during lunch.

Andrew: Is she busy?

Chris: There are a lot of Mexicans here, too.

Andrew: Fucking Mexicans, with their hats and bandoliers!

Chris: Lmao
Chris: Incidentally, they're all wearing bandoliers.

Andrew: I bet they all fat with big moustaches.

Chris: They are!

Andrew: I'm not sure I know what a bandoliers is.

Chris: Crap. This guy just ordered 7 hamburgers.
Chris: And its a strap of ammunition you can wear.

------

Andrew: A girl once talked to me when I was in a Burger King.
Andrew: As I thought.

Chris: O.O
Andrew: This was years ago, when I was at school. :P

Chris: What did she say to you?
Chris: :-P

Andrew: I think she asked what my name was and what my mates name was.

Chris: Is that all?

Andrew: From what I can remember yes. I think it was another encounter where I got sucked off.

Chris: O.O

Andrew: I think that was at a petting zoo. Those goats don't know when to stop. I never should have fed them. :(

Chris: Lmao

Chris: Irl

Andrew: Are the Mexicans looking at you?

Chris: Yes, as the cashier is Mexican.

Andrew: Its OK, let them look.

Glastonbury and the Evian Challenge [July]

10th July

Andrew: Well isn't that creative. :P

Chris: I thought you'd like it. :P

Andrew: You should have put, "Without you, I'd be everything."

Chris: That'd be lying.

Andrew: ^^

Chris: :P
Chris: I mean, $$

Andrew: So how goes it?

Chris: Not too bad. You?

Andrew: I'm chuffing hot at the moment. I'm sitting here in only boxers and headphones.
Andrew: Playing some RDR, hence the sporadic replies.

Chris: You sure know how to reply sporadically, though. :P
Chris: And, to make things even/weirder/more awkward, I'm sitting here in only gym shorts. So there.

Andrew: HOT.

Chris: So are you

Andrew: Oh, stop.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Though I did say I was just now. :/

Chris: Didn't ruin it in the slightest.

Andrew: Right enough with the Xbox, my room is too hot already.

Chris: LOL
Chris: It's because you're in it

Andrew: That doesn't help either, my hands get sweaty whenever I touch anything.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: So have I talked about Glasto yet?

Chris: Slightly

Andrew: Can you remember what I mentioned?

Chris: Not particularly.

Andrew: Great because as it was over a week ago, I've forgotten everything.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: It was basically a bunch of hot chicks wandering around a load of fields, while wearing very few clothes due to the heat.

Chris: Is that all you noticed? :P

Andrew: I think at some point there was some music as well.
Andrew: I partially remember that there were a few guys as well. :/

Chris: LOL

Andrew: We actually had a couple of females in our extended camp.

Chris: Orly?

Andrew: Yuss.

Chris: And?

Andrew: Well could explain how this came about if you want?

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: So I went there with 2 guys, my mate Matt and his flatmate Matt (Matt 2, Snorlax). Snorlax also had a few guys that he festivals with come along as well. We saved an area of field so they could camp near us. They arrived a bit later than we did.
Andrew: So anywho, when they were queuing they got chatting to a couple of girls who had never been before and tagged along with the others.
Andrew: That's about it.

Chris: Ah. No sex?

Andrew: Nope, all I got was some super noodles. :P

Chris: And that's code for...? :p

Andrew: Oh, plus a comment about my fire being "cute."

Chris: LOL

Andrew: I wish it was a code for something, however this is not the case.
Andrew: It is as simple as me getting some crappy noodles that one of them didn't want to eat. This was at like 2 or 3 in the morning though.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: I ended up staying up till 6 :P

Chris: Eh, not too bad for a music festival

Andrew: Exactly, though I was all alone for most of it.

Chris: Awwww. Well, hopefully, there'll be a music fest going on when I get to England

Andrew: Almost certainly.
Andrew: So on a code related note.
Andrew: On Wednesday night when Matt, Snorlax and I were chilling at the tent chatting about random things, as you do. I was being loud and pedantic as I was in a good mood and had been drinking So Co and Coke.
Andrew: I was saying about pipes giving you time to answer questions. Then Snorlax goes "I am in the pipe position!"
Andrew: To which I replied "oh realllllly?". Then it instantly became legendary.
Andrew: Piping that is.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: The whole extended weekend had a homoerotic undertone though. :P

Chris: LOL How so?

Andrew: Dunno, just your usual comments. All of which now escape me other that piping.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: The type where the replies are "oh really" or "you could at least buy me a drink first" etc.

Chris: Ah.
Chris: I don't even need to make those jokes on undertone

Andrew: That may have been a bad choice of words.

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Some were blatant.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: That may well be it for my Glasto antics.

Chris: Oh? Do tell.

Andrew: Yeah, I don't have any other things to say.

Chris: So you went with homoerotica? :P

Andrew: :S

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: BRB

Chris: OK

Andrew: Back
Andrew: So I did think of something else, but its not that nice.

Chris: What would that be?

Andrew: It is toilet related.

Chris: Do tell

Andrew: Well also on Wednesday night, we were all too lazy to wonder down the hill to pee. So the also legendary "Evian Challenge" was born.

Chris: O.O

Andrew: Pee in a bottle and hope you don't overflow.

Chris: LOL!
Chris: I like it!

Andrew: It actually became a nightly exercise due to convenience.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: That must be everything now.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: Actually, no!

Chris: :-O

Andrew: So Thursday we went down into the stalls area so Snorlax could get himself a hat.
Andrew: At the very first stall we get to, the women there asks him "Do you have a girlfriend?". He's like "No, why?". "Well with a t-shirt like that you'll never get one." :-O
Andrew: His t-shirt said "Washing up: X Cleaning: X Football: Tick Beer and Chips: Tick Tick"
Andrew: Or something along those lines.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: We were all like WTF.
Andrew: I was tempted to question her on why it was bad.
Andrew: As nothing on there is sexist.
Andrew: So yeah, that was lame.

Chris: LOL I thought it was amusing
Andrew: You think everything is. :P
Andrew: Well this is a decent addition to the growing Blogchive.

Chris: Is it? I like our chats.

Andrew: It's long and funny.

Chris: Well, we've already established that. I was talking about our chats.

Andrew: I meant this chat, now, here.
Andrew: I hate them all.

Chris: LOL Why?

Andrew: Like I need a reason, have you seen some of the things I say. Seriously, I need help.

Chris: No, you don't.

Andrew: I know, I need a better writer.

Chris: Isn't your writer Jewish?

Andrew: Yeah, he is also my accountant. :/

Chris: I'd fire him.

Andrew: One step ahead.

Chris: You force fed him a sandwich made of bacon, pork chops, Canadian Bacon, and ham?

Andrew: i had bacon almost every morning (brunch) at Glasto!

Chris: Bacon butties?

Andrew: Yeah, I also had a double egg roll once. I still don't know why.

Chris: Double egg roll?

Andrew: Yes, 2 fried eggs in a bap.

Chris: Ah.
Chris: I thought you meant egg rolls.

Andrew: Nope.

Chris: Consider yourself lucky: I brought you outside with me whilst I smoke a fag

Andrew: What's he like?

Chris: Tall, dark, and handsome

Chris: Not as hot as you, though

Andrew: So someone actually noticed I have a blog today.

Chris: Orly?

Andrew: Yes, they said "I didn't know you had a blog."

Chris: LOL

Andrew: Did you notice The Baron is a fan of the blog?

Chris: I did, and I was very happy to see that.

Andrew: I think he is laying low for some reason, though he has got himself a picture finally.

Chris: I saw that too!

Andrew: We should badger him to become more active.

Chris: -nods- That we should

Andrew: Oh yeah, so You had to be there moment of the week.

Chris: :)

Andrew: Ryan's comment about Pawel's (the Polish guy of many names now (at work)) face, "he looks like he's trying to cover up a rape."

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: Aaron dropped a monitor on his foot as well and proceeded to limp for a couple of days.

Chris: I think I know where this is going

Andrew: Where?

Chris: You joked that the polish guy raped Aaron?

Andrew: No nothing of the sort, I was just thinking of other work related things.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: The drop happened before the rape face comment.
Andrew: Plus Pawel is the Duck man.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: Plus the master of The Pav Test. Which is copied from PAT Testing.

Chris: Say what?

Andrew: PAT Testing is what you do when testing electrical equipment.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: I merely thought of having a Pav Test. Which I think is some sort of duck grooming thing.

Chris: LOL!
Chris: I like that!

Andrew: Or duck assessment.
Andrew: So as of today, the new thing is to say "Did you hear that?" after burping. In honour of Elf.

Chris: Elf?

Andrew: The movie with Will Ferrell.

Chris: Oh yeah, the one I haven't seen

Andrew: He necks a 2L bottle of Coke then does an epic burp and asks that.

Chris: Ahhhhhh

Andrew: Have you watched Anchorman yet?

Chris: Never seen it.

Andrew: :(

Chris: :P

Andrew: I should be off.

Chris: Okay then. Toodles!

Andrew: Cya later mate. Stay cool.

Chris: You as well.

Science and Money Shots [June]

22nd June

Andrew: I never tire of blow outs on the highway. (A reference to his FB status update.)

Chris: Sorry. Was at dinner.

Andrew: But not away! You confusing monster!

Chris: :P
Chris: It was kind of sudden.

Andrew: Like something sudden.

Chris: True

Andrew: How goes it?

Chris: Just knocking back a beer and preparing to finish a research paper.
Chris: How bout you?

Andrew: Knocking back a coke and watching someone on Blogtv.

Chris: Nice.

Andrew: Yes!

Chris: :)

Andrew: This guy is a music reviewer and I've come to realise I only watch his vids to hear what he says. :P

Chris: LOL! Is his speech that amusing?

Andrew: Not amusing, but he is erm "wordy". :P

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: Like talking to you.

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: So I'm not gonna be around for the next week or so.

Chris: May I ask why?

Andrew: I think you just did.
Andrew: I'm off to the Glastonbury festival!

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Yes, so I can hang about with my mates friends that I don't think I've met before... in a field!

Chris: Sounds exciting!

Andrew: I seem to be somewhat apprehensive about it right now. :/

Chris: Why?

Andrew: I dunno. I was like this last year as well.

Chris: Ah. Well, I'm sure it'll be a blast.

Andrew: There is other stuff I guess they won't want to see, but it will be lame if I wonder around on my own.

Chris: I guess. :P

Andrew: HEH. :P
Andrew: So yeah, its unlikely I will be on here. Amazingly.

Chris: XD

Andrew: Hopefully it will create some stories for me to share though.

Chris: -nods- As I have none.

Andrew: I don't at the moment either, that I can think of.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: Hmm.
Andrew: The only one I can think of won't translate well.
Andrew: I fail at entertaining.

Chris: Eh, it's okay.

Andrew: Something up?

Chris: Nope. Just working on the paper.

Andrew: I can not think of anything to say, this disappoints me.

Chris: :(

Andrew: I need something to waffle about.

Chris: Waffles?

Andrew: I don't think so.

Chris: :-\

Andrew: What is your paper about?

Chris: Influence of varying amounts of soil salinity on peas, radishes, and corn plant growth and development.

Andrew: I imagine you talking about that stuff all the time.

Chris: LOL I do not.

Andrew: Deny it all you want. You will turn up in tweed jacket with leather pads on the shoulders and elbows.

Chris: LOL Probably. I'd probably do that just for the sheer amusement.

Andrew: You'll be in the corner of a pub, in a comfy chair. Reading a dictionary and smoking a pipe.
Andrew: Your glasses perched on the end of your nose.

Chris: Naturally. And a pipe.

Andrew: Two pipes?

Chris: Hell yes.

Andrew: If that situation doesn't occur at some point in time. Well. I may have got the wrong idea about you.

Chris: :P

Andrew: Now we have something, unless I decide you are fictional.

Chris: Am I?

Andrew: I haven't decided yet. I had deja vu last week, that weirded me out.
Andrew: This made me think of that for some reason.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: That was like one of my usual conversation cuts.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: Seriously. I'm fairly conventional when talking to you, unless I'm talking about films or games.

Chris: I don't know if that should worry me. :P

Andrew: Imagine I just put down what ever is in my head. Like straight into words.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: Hard to explain, well harder to explain as I have enough trouble explaining simple things. I just develop different conversation styles depending on who I'm talking to.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: So also, I need a gun to be cool, right?

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: :(

Chris: Just kidding.

Andrew: No, I've seen the kool kidz on PB have all got them.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: I would have got involved, but I don't have a pic and I don't want them to shoot me. :/

Chris: LOL

Andrew: Magic = Andrew: says (02:12): What, involve your sister? I can't see any disadvantage to that. Person I is chatting to says (02:12): xD She's always ready to jump in.
Andrew: :-O

Chris: LMAO

Andrew: There's the money shot.

Andrew: Self LOLage!

Chris: :)

Andrew: Andrew: says (02:16): Why didn't you tell me that before! Person I is chatting to says (02:19): It never came up! Andrew: says (02:20): I didn't realise she needed to know when that happens!

Chris: XD

Andrew: I've set flirt to stun.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: I'm off now, so I will most likely speak to you in a week or so.

Chris: Laters

Monosyllables and "Special Man" [June]

10th June

Andrew: I apologise for the lack of opening joke again.

(Long time passes)

Andrew: Oh wait, you don't exist.

(A shorter amount of time passes)

Chris: I'm offended by that suggestion.

Andrew: I'm offended by large bananas.

Chris: No, you're not.

Andrew: True, I just find them phallic.

Chris: -nods- There we go.

Andrew: How goes it?

Chris: I've only been awake for half an hour. :P

Andrew: Should I be impressed?

Chris: No.

Andrew: Tough, I am.

Chris: True,

Andrew: Working it too hard again?

Chris: Hardly.

Andrew: Ah. So who does your FB post refer to?

Chris: (Person)

Andrew: Oh, a subject I don't understand.

Chris: :P

Andrew: LOL English things.

Chris: :P

Andrew: I bet that's one of your gripes with me.

Chris: What, that you're English?

Andrew: No, my inability to use it correct.

Chris: Oh. No, not really.

Andrew: Nah, I think time has shown that.

Chris: http://www.urlesque.com/2010/06/01/26-hilariously-inaccurate-knock-off-toys/?icid=main
Chris: I think you'll find those very entertaining.

Andrew: But will the viewers at home... lets find out.

Chris: Who cares?

Andrew: I know.
Andrew: I wish Super Bat had a "Non-fail action."

Chris: LOLChris: Me too.

Andrew: I thought Robert Cop was LOL worthy... but then I did gaze upon Specialman.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Thomas Transformers!

Chris: LOL
Chris: Now I gotta go.

Andrew: Byeo.

Chris: Later