Saturday, June 5, 2010

Getting Lucky and More Cougars [June]

3rd June 2010

Chris: I went to Subway and hopped behind the counter because all of the employees were busy in the back. A woman came in and asked for a footlong...needless to say, I went to jail.

Andrew: I went to a popular supermarket over here after I had finished work. I was still in my work clothes and some old woman asked if I on duty.
Andrew: Needless to say, I wasn't.
Andrew: I'm gonna BBL, I have to do a couple of things which I would have done already if I hadn't dozed off.

Chris: Okay. Later

Andrew: This monitor is showing a Blu-Ray image witch is displayed in 1080p high definition.
Andrew: I actually saw that today.

Chris: Really?

Andrew: Yes.
Andrew: I should have taken a picture of it.
Andrew: I have also seen "No job to small" on the back of a van.

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: So I have a minor situation to briefly talk about.

Chris: Do tell.

Andrew: When I was walking out of the shop where I had seen said message, the girl at the checkout said "cya later". I totally missed a chance at some flirtage there. I could have said "not if I see you first," or "only if I'm lucky." Or maybe something like "oh really? (with a cheeky wink)". But all I came out with was "bye."

Chris: Anything you typed to me In the last two minutes will ahve to be resent.

Andrew: When I was walking out of the shop where I had seen said message, the girl at the checkout said "cya later". I totally missed a chance at some flirtage there. I could have said "not if I see you first," or "only if I'm lucky." Or maybe something like "oh really? (with a cheeky wink)". But all I came out with was "bye."

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: Bad times.
Andrew: So how are you?

Chris: Well. I just finished enjoying a bag of BBQ ranch kettle chips.

Andrew: Nice.

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: Well, whats next?

Chris: Oatmeal raisin cookie.

Andrew: I thought I saw a fox then, but it turned out to be a horse in the distance.
Andrew: I just received an email from Windows Live. Probably someone else saying "I've got some new panties, wanna see?"

Chris: And, of course, you'll click.

Andrew: I only did for the first one, as I thought it was from you.

Chris: Sorry. No pictures of me in my underwear online...yet.

Andrew: :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: I don't plan to be the first person to see one when you do.

Chris: Not that you know of.

Andrew: Stupid cougar came out of no where and attacked me again!
Andrew: Bitch!

Chris: Damnit! Did she slip you a roofie?

Andrew: No, there was an offer of motor boating.

Chris: ...and you didn't take it...why?

Andrew: The motor boating was a lie!

Chris: It usually is. :(

Andrew: Yes.

Chris: They just want to talk about feelings.

Andrew: Seriously, enough with the cougars!

Chris: Best headline ever: McDonald's in France serves up young gay love.

Andrew: :-O
Andrew: I wonder what it tasted like.

Chris: A Big Mac?

Andrew: Oh.

Chris: -shrugs-

Andrew: Is there some kind of Kenneth invasion on PB at the moment?

Chris: It appears so.

Andrew: Shame.
Andrew: I posted in your Spongebob thread and it died.

Chris: Sorry. Had to take care of a potential business transaction.

Andrew: Ok.

Chris: :P
Chris: Eh, it's okay.
Chris: I wasn't particularly attached to it anyway.

Andrew: Thought so.

Chris: :P

Andrew: So how many people have you told about the blog yet?

Chris: What's 0 + 0?

Andrew: 8?

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: :/

Chris: Well, it's naptime.

Andrew: Have fun.

Chris: I always do.

Cougars and Teaching [June]

1st June 2010

Chris: My grandmother, who has hallitosis, got mugged the other day, so to make her feel safe, I got her some pepper spray.

Andrew: Yay?

Chris: when she sent me to get breath spraying and hairspray. Unfortunately, the bottles looked similar and the labels fell off...

Andrew: :/

Chris: Fucking touch screen keyboard and predictive text.

Andrew: I've started using my graphics pad for a mouse again. But least I still get a keyboard.

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Why not.

Chris: Dunno.

Andrew: Yeah.

Chris: I need a nap. :-(

Andrew: I might do as well, but i'll see what happens.

Chris: Isn't it 5pm there?

Andrew: Yep.

Chris: Hmmmm.

Andrew: I just got attacked by a bear!

Chris: Did you make bear sandwiches?
Chris: Mmmmm...bear sandwiches.

Andrew: No, I shot it.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: Then I got killed by a cougar.

Chris: Those women are vicious.

Andrew: Tell me about it. I had to put bait down to attract some, then rawrrrrr death.

Chris: This is why manicures and stiletto heels should be illegal.

Andrew: :P

Chris: I'll take that as an lol.
Chris: So my chances of moving to England are getting better.

Andrew: It was more or less a lol and how so?

Chris: My teaching license might actually hold water over there.

Andrew: Awesomeness!

Chris: :-)
Chris: Apparently, there are American military installations in England.

Andrew: Does that help?

Chris: Yes.
Chris: Military installations mean military families.

Andrew: I don't get it.

Chris: Lol

Andrew: :(

Chris: Military families mean children that need an American education.

Andrew: In America?

Chris: In England.

Andrew: :P

Chris: :-P

Chris: So I got word you might not be straight.

Andrew: From?

Chris: God herself.

Andrew: You wish.

Chris: I do. :-(

Andrew: :P

Chris: :-P
Chris: So I learned something else about strippers today. They don't give refunds.

Andrew: Only STI's.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: That's more of a gift, though.

Andrew: Like a souvenir.

Chris: ^^
Chris: It's one I'm happy to get, especially if it's AIDS

Andrew: Well obviously.

Chris: :)
Chris: So how'd your day go?

Andrew: Pretty well besides the usual lack of sleep. You?

Chris: The same, actually.

Andrew: Cool.

Chris: Mmmmmm. Subway.

Andrew: Subway tramps!

Chris: LOLChris: It's fun to make them do things for a quarter. That's a lot of money to them.

Andrew: I hate to think what things you make them do.

Chris: You wouldn't if you knew what they were! ^^

Andrew: :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: So what you up to now?

Chris: Eating and winding down.

Andrew: So, a couple of weeks ago I downloaded Minutes to Midnight.

Chris: Oh really? What'd you think of it?

Andrew: Eww.

Chris: -nods- Meteora was definitely LPs best work.

Andrew: Theres no edge to it.

Chris: Nope. Well, Given Up was good.

Andrew: I had given up after a couple of songs.

Chris: LOL
Chris: LOL Leave it up to Ireland to propose pay toilets on airplanes.

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Well i'm off, cyas later.

Chris: Laters.

Body Parts and Red Dead [May]

30th May 2010

Chris: So I tuned into a porn called "Misty Gets Gangbanged Again and Again" on TV, and I thought something was up when saw that "Misty" looked a lot like my mom. I came to the realization that, not only was "Misty" my mom, but I was watching a live feed from her bedroom.

Andrew: LOL

Chris: :P

Andrew: So what's a happenin'?

Chris: A three-day weekend, that's what.

Andrew: Yeah!

Chris: ^_^
Chris: Hows about you?

Andrew: Playing Red Dead for a change.

Chris: I have no desire to play that game.

Andrew: I have no desire to play with you.

Chris: That's a lie and you know it.

Andrew: Or is it?

Chris: It's not.

Andrew: Perhaps.

Chris: No.
Chris: There's no argument.

Andrew: Because I can't be bothered to argue.

Chris: :P
Chris: That's why I win most of the time.

Andrew: Lies.

Chris: Prove me wrong.

Andrew: No.
Andrew: I died.

Chris: Damnit. That's the third time this month.

Andrew: :(

Andrew: Don't you just hate it when your train gets attacked by rebels?

Chris: I hate nothing more than that.
Chris: So have you seen previews for Jonah Hex?

Andrew: I'm not sure.

Chris: LOL If you had, I would have said, "And did you pay attention to anything besides Megan Fox?" :P

Andrew: I think all i've seen is pics of her.

Chris: :P
Chris: She looks decent in this film.

Andrew: Good?

Chris: I guess. :P

Andrew: My line. :P

Chris: I see. :P

Andrew: The wooly blue curls are purple.

Chris: Say what?

Andrew: Then my horse died.

Chris: OH

Andrew: It's a metaphor. But it really happened.

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: I couldn't remember if you liked that or not.

Chris: I always do. :P

Andrew: Some woman just said "take whatever you want from my chest."

Chris: :)
Chris: Though i'd prefer to take the woman along with the breasts...

Andrew: You drive a hard bargain.

Chris: Don't I always?

Andrew: Sometimes you drive a car.

Chris: Yes, and other times, it's a knife into someone's (insert body part here)

Andrew: Car part?

Chris: ...did I NOT specify body parts?

Andrew: Door?

Chris: -sigh-

Andrew: :)

Chris: :)

Andrew: I'm on a train!

Chris: I'm naked!

Andrew: Yay! So is this gonna be uploaded?

Chris: Of course. :)
Chris: Except for the bad opener. (Which was removed :P)

Andrew: Obviously, we should try and hide secret messages in here or something.
Andrew: Or go... PLEASE COMMENT!

Chris: ...you mean you haven't been?

Andrew: No, I just like saying AIDS.

Chris: I already knew that.

Andrew: I walked into a pig.

Chris: I walked into an elevator shaft.

Andrew: The pig was hanging from the ceiling.

Chris: The elevator shaft was recessed into the wall.

Andrew: Mmmm shotguns.

Chris: Brb fag

Andrew: K

Chris: Back

Andrew: WB

Chris: Ugh. I think I'm gonna lay down for a bit.
Chris: I just got tired.
Chris: BBL

Andrew: Ok. Bye

Bewbz and Laundry [May]

29th May 2010


Andrew: Hayley Williams has cool bewbz.

Chris: I don't often look at her bewbz, strangely enough.

Andrew: She showed me them and I said "cool."

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: She showed the rest of the internet as well. :/

Chris: When did this happen?

Andrew: At some point yesteday I think.

Chris: Hm.

Andrew: I only know as it was talked about in a vid on YT.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: I immediatly paused said video and clicked on the link. :P

Chris: What did it take you to?

Andrew: Bewbz. :/

Chris: Were they nice bewbz?

Andrew: I would say so yes. :P
Andrew: As bewbz go.

Chris: :P

Andrew: (Linkage)

Chris: Eeentaresting.

Andrew: Yes. Oh I have two other things to talk about!

Chris: A whole two!?

Andrew: Yes, like the number of bewbz on most females!

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: Why is your name on FB Andrew?

Chris: Because you touch yourself at night.

Andrew: I don't see what that has to do with it.

Chris: It's the same reason why the dinosaurs died.

Andrew: Whats that got to do with you using my name? :P

Chris: Did you forget that I'm also named Andrew?

Andrew: Did you forget that your name is Chris?

Chris: Apparently.

Andrew: There we go then.
Andrew: The was that I think I had a dream involving you last night. I just can't remember what happened in it now.

Chris: Hmmmm.

Andrew: Kinda lame now yes.

Chris: Sorry. Had to go get Gatorade.

Andrew: Fair enough.

Chris: :P
Chris: Fruit punch isn't as interesting as you, though.

Andrew: Fair enough again.

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: Do you have anything to share?

Chris: Not particularly.
Chris: Nothing interesting's happened to me in a while.

Andrew: Oh.

Chris: BRB Laundry

Andrew: Yup.

Chris: Back

Andrew: WB

Chris: OMG
Chris: So I do have an interesting story.

Andrew: :-O

Chris: The lead singer of one of my favorite bands is following me on Twitter.

Andrew: :-O
Andrew: Who?

Chris: John Balicanta.

Andrew: I thought so.

Chris: ?

Andrew: :P

Chris: :P
Chris: Dude, you can monitor when the washing machines and dryers become available online!
Chris: ^_^

Andrew: How awesome is that!

Chris: It's the next best thing to internet porn.

Andrew: Just imagine if you could watch them!

Chris: There was a couple making out in there earlier...

Andrew: A couple of washing machines?

Chris: I wish.

Andrew: :P
Andrew: So I attempted to get to the blog from my phone earlier and got a 404.

Chris: Uh-oh.

Andrew: I just went there then though, its fine.

Chris: Good. You worried me for a second.

Andrew: I started reading the content terms at lunch :P

Chris: :P And at what conclusion did you arrive?

Andrew: It could have been that. :P

Chris: :P
Chris: Cock?

Andrew: No, it could have been removed due to the content. You still haven't uploaded the latest one I sent.

Chris: No I have not.
Chris: I;ve rectified this.

Andrew: ^^

Chris: Mmmmm...nakedness

Andrew: So this means i'll have to sort some more out doesn't it.

Chris: Yes, yes it does.

Andrew: That'll give me something to do at the weekend.

Chris: ^_^
Chris: I can imagine that monday's not a holiday in the UK

Andrew: :-O

Chris: :P
Chris: LOL I poked fun at ASE.

Andrew: :-O

Chris: :P
Chris: Check my post in the "zombies" thread.

Andrew: I first read that like poke in ass.
Andrew: (After looking at the post) I don't get it.

Chris: :P
Chris: You wouldn't.

Andrew: :/

Chris: :P
Chris: Ugh. yet another fad sweeping GT.

Andrew: I take it you mean the zombies thing?

Chris: Yes.

Andrew: Whats it all about so I don't have to read it.

Chris: I have no idea.

Andrew: Oh.

Chris: :P

Andrew: My fad is not posting.

Chris: I love it, Max!

Andrew: Is funny 'cause its true.
Andrew: New Guild. ^^

Chris: Huh?

Andrew: The Guild. New ep.

Chris: Ah. I love "Do you wanna date my avatar."

Andrew: I know.

Chris: I've gotta go.

Andrew: Ok, bye.

Chris: Bye