Monday, August 2, 2010

Snippets [Special Edition]

Random Snippets

Andrew: Life should be more like "Brave New World".

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Erotic play for the kids, youthful looks till you are like 40 or something and promiscuity is encouraged.

Chris: That sounds like heaven.

Andrew: Certainly does!

------

Andrew: So are you done with Uni now?

Chris: For the semester. I go back on January 11th.

Andrew: I still have a week left.

Chris: Of?

Andrew: Guess.

Chris: Work.

Andrew: Yup.

Chris: And then?

Andrew: I explode.

Chris: Awesome!

Andrew: It should be a pleasurable experience, I'm looking forward to it.

Chris: So I've heard.

------

Andrew: Give it away!

Chris: :-P

Andrew: I say that to all the girls.

Chris: And they say?

Andrew: They say "Give it away!", then I say "Give it away now!".

Chris: XD

Andrew: I think I make you do that almost everyday.

Chris: Only because you're so awesome.

Andrew: Or you are easily pleased, or both, or all three.

Chris: All three!

Andrew: That's the answer to so many of life's questions.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Like, which sister do I get with?

Chris: All three!

Andrew: That was assumed, but yeah. :P

Chris: :P

------

Chris: Damn. I lost my place in line helping out that invalid.

Andrew: I'm not an invalid!

Chris: I know!
Chris: That, and I made the mistake of coming to Wendy's during lunch.

Andrew: Is she busy?

Chris: There are a lot of Mexicans here, too.

Andrew: Fucking Mexicans, with their hats and bandoliers!

Chris: Lmao
Chris: Incidentally, they're all wearing bandoliers.

Andrew: I bet they all fat with big moustaches.

Chris: They are!

Andrew: I'm not sure I know what a bandoliers is.

Chris: Crap. This guy just ordered 7 hamburgers.
Chris: And its a strap of ammunition you can wear.

------

Andrew: A girl once talked to me when I was in a Burger King.
Andrew: As I thought.

Chris: O.O
Andrew: This was years ago, when I was at school. :P

Chris: What did she say to you?
Chris: :-P

Andrew: I think she asked what my name was and what my mates name was.

Chris: Is that all?

Andrew: From what I can remember yes. I think it was another encounter where I got sucked off.

Chris: O.O

Andrew: I think that was at a petting zoo. Those goats don't know when to stop. I never should have fed them. :(

Chris: Lmao

Chris: Irl

Andrew: Are the Mexicans looking at you?

Chris: Yes, as the cashier is Mexican.

Andrew: Its OK, let them look.

Glastonbury and the Evian Challenge [July]

10th July

Andrew: Well isn't that creative. :P

Chris: I thought you'd like it. :P

Andrew: You should have put, "Without you, I'd be everything."

Chris: That'd be lying.

Andrew: ^^

Chris: :P
Chris: I mean, $$

Andrew: So how goes it?

Chris: Not too bad. You?

Andrew: I'm chuffing hot at the moment. I'm sitting here in only boxers and headphones.
Andrew: Playing some RDR, hence the sporadic replies.

Chris: You sure know how to reply sporadically, though. :P
Chris: And, to make things even/weirder/more awkward, I'm sitting here in only gym shorts. So there.

Andrew: HOT.

Chris: So are you

Andrew: Oh, stop.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Though I did say I was just now. :/

Chris: Didn't ruin it in the slightest.

Andrew: Right enough with the Xbox, my room is too hot already.

Chris: LOL
Chris: It's because you're in it

Andrew: That doesn't help either, my hands get sweaty whenever I touch anything.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: So have I talked about Glasto yet?

Chris: Slightly

Andrew: Can you remember what I mentioned?

Chris: Not particularly.

Andrew: Great because as it was over a week ago, I've forgotten everything.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: It was basically a bunch of hot chicks wandering around a load of fields, while wearing very few clothes due to the heat.

Chris: Is that all you noticed? :P

Andrew: I think at some point there was some music as well.
Andrew: I partially remember that there were a few guys as well. :/

Chris: LOL

Andrew: We actually had a couple of females in our extended camp.

Chris: Orly?

Andrew: Yuss.

Chris: And?

Andrew: Well could explain how this came about if you want?

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: So I went there with 2 guys, my mate Matt and his flatmate Matt (Matt 2, Snorlax). Snorlax also had a few guys that he festivals with come along as well. We saved an area of field so they could camp near us. They arrived a bit later than we did.
Andrew: So anywho, when they were queuing they got chatting to a couple of girls who had never been before and tagged along with the others.
Andrew: That's about it.

Chris: Ah. No sex?

Andrew: Nope, all I got was some super noodles. :P

Chris: And that's code for...? :p

Andrew: Oh, plus a comment about my fire being "cute."

Chris: LOL

Andrew: I wish it was a code for something, however this is not the case.
Andrew: It is as simple as me getting some crappy noodles that one of them didn't want to eat. This was at like 2 or 3 in the morning though.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: I ended up staying up till 6 :P

Chris: Eh, not too bad for a music festival

Andrew: Exactly, though I was all alone for most of it.

Chris: Awwww. Well, hopefully, there'll be a music fest going on when I get to England

Andrew: Almost certainly.
Andrew: So on a code related note.
Andrew: On Wednesday night when Matt, Snorlax and I were chilling at the tent chatting about random things, as you do. I was being loud and pedantic as I was in a good mood and had been drinking So Co and Coke.
Andrew: I was saying about pipes giving you time to answer questions. Then Snorlax goes "I am in the pipe position!"
Andrew: To which I replied "oh realllllly?". Then it instantly became legendary.
Andrew: Piping that is.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: The whole extended weekend had a homoerotic undertone though. :P

Chris: LOL How so?

Andrew: Dunno, just your usual comments. All of which now escape me other that piping.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: The type where the replies are "oh really" or "you could at least buy me a drink first" etc.

Chris: Ah.
Chris: I don't even need to make those jokes on undertone

Andrew: That may have been a bad choice of words.

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Some were blatant.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: That may well be it for my Glasto antics.

Chris: Oh? Do tell.

Andrew: Yeah, I don't have any other things to say.

Chris: So you went with homoerotica? :P

Andrew: :S

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: BRB

Chris: OK

Andrew: Back
Andrew: So I did think of something else, but its not that nice.

Chris: What would that be?

Andrew: It is toilet related.

Chris: Do tell

Andrew: Well also on Wednesday night, we were all too lazy to wonder down the hill to pee. So the also legendary "Evian Challenge" was born.

Chris: O.O

Andrew: Pee in a bottle and hope you don't overflow.

Chris: LOL!
Chris: I like it!

Andrew: It actually became a nightly exercise due to convenience.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: That must be everything now.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: Actually, no!

Chris: :-O

Andrew: So Thursday we went down into the stalls area so Snorlax could get himself a hat.
Andrew: At the very first stall we get to, the women there asks him "Do you have a girlfriend?". He's like "No, why?". "Well with a t-shirt like that you'll never get one." :-O
Andrew: His t-shirt said "Washing up: X Cleaning: X Football: Tick Beer and Chips: Tick Tick"
Andrew: Or something along those lines.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: We were all like WTF.
Andrew: I was tempted to question her on why it was bad.
Andrew: As nothing on there is sexist.
Andrew: So yeah, that was lame.

Chris: LOL I thought it was amusing
Andrew: You think everything is. :P
Andrew: Well this is a decent addition to the growing Blogchive.

Chris: Is it? I like our chats.

Andrew: It's long and funny.

Chris: Well, we've already established that. I was talking about our chats.

Andrew: I meant this chat, now, here.
Andrew: I hate them all.

Chris: LOL Why?

Andrew: Like I need a reason, have you seen some of the things I say. Seriously, I need help.

Chris: No, you don't.

Andrew: I know, I need a better writer.

Chris: Isn't your writer Jewish?

Andrew: Yeah, he is also my accountant. :/

Chris: I'd fire him.

Andrew: One step ahead.

Chris: You force fed him a sandwich made of bacon, pork chops, Canadian Bacon, and ham?

Andrew: i had bacon almost every morning (brunch) at Glasto!

Chris: Bacon butties?

Andrew: Yeah, I also had a double egg roll once. I still don't know why.

Chris: Double egg roll?

Andrew: Yes, 2 fried eggs in a bap.

Chris: Ah.
Chris: I thought you meant egg rolls.

Andrew: Nope.

Chris: Consider yourself lucky: I brought you outside with me whilst I smoke a fag

Andrew: What's he like?

Chris: Tall, dark, and handsome

Chris: Not as hot as you, though

Andrew: So someone actually noticed I have a blog today.

Chris: Orly?

Andrew: Yes, they said "I didn't know you had a blog."

Chris: LOL

Andrew: Did you notice The Baron is a fan of the blog?

Chris: I did, and I was very happy to see that.

Andrew: I think he is laying low for some reason, though he has got himself a picture finally.

Chris: I saw that too!

Andrew: We should badger him to become more active.

Chris: -nods- That we should

Andrew: Oh yeah, so You had to be there moment of the week.

Chris: :)

Andrew: Ryan's comment about Pawel's (the Polish guy of many names now (at work)) face, "he looks like he's trying to cover up a rape."

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: Aaron dropped a monitor on his foot as well and proceeded to limp for a couple of days.

Chris: I think I know where this is going

Andrew: Where?

Chris: You joked that the polish guy raped Aaron?

Andrew: No nothing of the sort, I was just thinking of other work related things.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: The drop happened before the rape face comment.
Andrew: Plus Pawel is the Duck man.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: Plus the master of The Pav Test. Which is copied from PAT Testing.

Chris: Say what?

Andrew: PAT Testing is what you do when testing electrical equipment.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: I merely thought of having a Pav Test. Which I think is some sort of duck grooming thing.

Chris: LOL!
Chris: I like that!

Andrew: Or duck assessment.
Andrew: So as of today, the new thing is to say "Did you hear that?" after burping. In honour of Elf.

Chris: Elf?

Andrew: The movie with Will Ferrell.

Chris: Oh yeah, the one I haven't seen

Andrew: He necks a 2L bottle of Coke then does an epic burp and asks that.

Chris: Ahhhhhh

Andrew: Have you watched Anchorman yet?

Chris: Never seen it.

Andrew: :(

Chris: :P

Andrew: I should be off.

Chris: Okay then. Toodles!

Andrew: Cya later mate. Stay cool.

Chris: You as well.

Science and Money Shots [June]

22nd June

Andrew: I never tire of blow outs on the highway. (A reference to his FB status update.)

Chris: Sorry. Was at dinner.

Andrew: But not away! You confusing monster!

Chris: :P
Chris: It was kind of sudden.

Andrew: Like something sudden.

Chris: True

Andrew: How goes it?

Chris: Just knocking back a beer and preparing to finish a research paper.
Chris: How bout you?

Andrew: Knocking back a coke and watching someone on Blogtv.

Chris: Nice.

Andrew: Yes!

Chris: :)

Andrew: This guy is a music reviewer and I've come to realise I only watch his vids to hear what he says. :P

Chris: LOL! Is his speech that amusing?

Andrew: Not amusing, but he is erm "wordy". :P

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: Like talking to you.

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: So I'm not gonna be around for the next week or so.

Chris: May I ask why?

Andrew: I think you just did.
Andrew: I'm off to the Glastonbury festival!

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Yes, so I can hang about with my mates friends that I don't think I've met before... in a field!

Chris: Sounds exciting!

Andrew: I seem to be somewhat apprehensive about it right now. :/

Chris: Why?

Andrew: I dunno. I was like this last year as well.

Chris: Ah. Well, I'm sure it'll be a blast.

Andrew: There is other stuff I guess they won't want to see, but it will be lame if I wonder around on my own.

Chris: I guess. :P

Andrew: HEH. :P
Andrew: So yeah, its unlikely I will be on here. Amazingly.

Chris: XD

Andrew: Hopefully it will create some stories for me to share though.

Chris: -nods- As I have none.

Andrew: I don't at the moment either, that I can think of.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: Hmm.
Andrew: The only one I can think of won't translate well.
Andrew: I fail at entertaining.

Chris: Eh, it's okay.

Andrew: Something up?

Chris: Nope. Just working on the paper.

Andrew: I can not think of anything to say, this disappoints me.

Chris: :(

Andrew: I need something to waffle about.

Chris: Waffles?

Andrew: I don't think so.

Chris: :-\

Andrew: What is your paper about?

Chris: Influence of varying amounts of soil salinity on peas, radishes, and corn plant growth and development.

Andrew: I imagine you talking about that stuff all the time.

Chris: LOL I do not.

Andrew: Deny it all you want. You will turn up in tweed jacket with leather pads on the shoulders and elbows.

Chris: LOL Probably. I'd probably do that just for the sheer amusement.

Andrew: You'll be in the corner of a pub, in a comfy chair. Reading a dictionary and smoking a pipe.
Andrew: Your glasses perched on the end of your nose.

Chris: Naturally. And a pipe.

Andrew: Two pipes?

Chris: Hell yes.

Andrew: If that situation doesn't occur at some point in time. Well. I may have got the wrong idea about you.

Chris: :P

Andrew: Now we have something, unless I decide you are fictional.

Chris: Am I?

Andrew: I haven't decided yet. I had deja vu last week, that weirded me out.
Andrew: This made me think of that for some reason.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: That was like one of my usual conversation cuts.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: Seriously. I'm fairly conventional when talking to you, unless I'm talking about films or games.

Chris: I don't know if that should worry me. :P

Andrew: Imagine I just put down what ever is in my head. Like straight into words.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: Hard to explain, well harder to explain as I have enough trouble explaining simple things. I just develop different conversation styles depending on who I'm talking to.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: So also, I need a gun to be cool, right?

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: :(

Chris: Just kidding.

Andrew: No, I've seen the kool kidz on PB have all got them.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: I would have got involved, but I don't have a pic and I don't want them to shoot me. :/

Chris: LOL

Andrew: Magic = Andrew: says (02:12): What, involve your sister? I can't see any disadvantage to that. Person I is chatting to says (02:12): xD She's always ready to jump in.
Andrew: :-O

Chris: LMAO

Andrew: There's the money shot.

Andrew: Self LOLage!

Chris: :)

Andrew: Andrew: says (02:16): Why didn't you tell me that before! Person I is chatting to says (02:19): It never came up! Andrew: says (02:20): I didn't realise she needed to know when that happens!

Chris: XD

Andrew: I've set flirt to stun.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: I'm off now, so I will most likely speak to you in a week or so.

Chris: Laters

Monosyllables and "Special Man" [June]

10th June

Andrew: I apologise for the lack of opening joke again.

(Long time passes)

Andrew: Oh wait, you don't exist.

(A shorter amount of time passes)

Chris: I'm offended by that suggestion.

Andrew: I'm offended by large bananas.

Chris: No, you're not.

Andrew: True, I just find them phallic.

Chris: -nods- There we go.

Andrew: How goes it?

Chris: I've only been awake for half an hour. :P

Andrew: Should I be impressed?

Chris: No.

Andrew: Tough, I am.

Chris: True,

Andrew: Working it too hard again?

Chris: Hardly.

Andrew: Ah. So who does your FB post refer to?

Chris: (Person)

Andrew: Oh, a subject I don't understand.

Chris: :P

Andrew: LOL English things.

Chris: :P

Andrew: I bet that's one of your gripes with me.

Chris: What, that you're English?

Andrew: No, my inability to use it correct.

Chris: Oh. No, not really.

Andrew: Nah, I think time has shown that.

Chris: http://www.urlesque.com/2010/06/01/26-hilariously-inaccurate-knock-off-toys/?icid=main
Chris: I think you'll find those very entertaining.

Andrew: But will the viewers at home... lets find out.

Chris: Who cares?

Andrew: I know.
Andrew: I wish Super Bat had a "Non-fail action."

Chris: LOLChris: Me too.

Andrew: I thought Robert Cop was LOL worthy... but then I did gaze upon Specialman.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Thomas Transformers!

Chris: LOL
Chris: Now I gotta go.

Andrew: Byeo.

Chris: Later

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Flight of the Conchords and Kevin Bacon [June]

7th & 8th June 2010

Chris: Hello, my sexy man.

Andrew: Hello good sir.

Chris: How goes it?

Andrew: I am er normal I guess. What about you?

Chris: I am er normal too.

Andrew: That's good then.

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: This could make for ground breaking blog action.

Chris: I suppose so. I'm tired.

Andrew: Was it really worth starting a convo then?

Chris: Well, I'm not going to sleep.

Andrew: Ahh.

Chris: Indeed.
Chris: So I finally got AIDS.

Andrew: That would explain the tiredness.

Chris: Actually, it doesn't, because I found out that it was just HIV with AIDS written on the box.
Chris: I returned it.

Andrew: Yeah, lets be honest, you want the real deal don't you.

Chris: I do.
Chris: Accept no substitutes.

Andrew: So it appears my character in Skate 3 is only allowed to look like Kevin Bacon.

Chris: Perhaps it would be better if it looked like Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man.

Andrew: Maybe so, or I should just change to a female one.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: It's so very limited, practically the same as Skate 2. :/

Chris: I've never played THPS

Andrew: This is Skate, not a Tony Hawks game.

Chris: Oh.

Andrew: The create a skater on those was better.
Andrew: It disappoints me.

Chris: I'm sorry.

Andrew: It's not your fault.

Chris: It should be.

Andrew: I'm not sure why I even try to make them look good.

Chris: None of them could look as good as you.

Andrew: They don't even get the chance to look anything like me!

Chris: :(

Andrew: So what are you up to?

Chris: What am I usually doing?

Andrew: Paragliding?

Chris: You know it

Andrew: I can only assume you mean touching yourself.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: Actually, I was adjusting myself as you said that.

Andrew: Weird.


Chris: LOL

Andrew: Her son is called Heirzeus!

Chris: Whose?

Andrew: The woman in this film.
Andrew: Though I'm led to believe the spelling is infact Jesus!
Andrew: He threw meat and laughed!

Chris: LOL!
Chris: Exactly WJWD.

Andrew: ?

Chris: What Jesus Would Do.

Andrew: It was actually someone else that did that.
Andrew: I think WWJD should be a permanent feature.

Chris: Perhaps.

Andrew: Our one and only fan likes the opening jokes though.
Andrew: We are like FotC!

Chris: Yay!
Chris: Tell her/him to spread the word!

Andrew: Perhaps I shall, like right now!

Chris: Sweet!

Andrew: Then it will form a strange moment for them when they read this!

Chris: LOL I can imagine it will.

Andrew: They will know who they are. Or maybe by time this is uploaded, various people will! :P
Andrew: They might even know who you are!

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Is it done.

Chris: THUNDERCLAP

Andrew: I could probably find some other people that might like it, though I can't decide if I want to put it on FB or not.
Andrew: I hate the Thunderclap, it makes so much noise when you walk.

Chris: LOL
Chris: Yes, yes it does.

Andrew: Big LOLs = success.

Chris: :)

Andrew: These men all have moustaches. Is that what makes a true man?

Chris: Well, I have one (as part of my beard), so yes.

Andrew: That makes you more of a man.

Chris: I know. ^^

Andrew: So, I think I'm a bit like Dave from FotC [Flight of the Concords].

Chris: Dave...which one is he?

Andrew: The guy who has the pawn shop.

Chris: OHHHHHHH

Andrew: *The penny drops*

Chris: LOL I found out that the guy who hosted the MTV Movie Awards played the fruit vendor in the episode that featured "Mutha'uckas."
Chris: The racist one. LOL

Andrew: Yeah, I've seen him in Scrubs as well.

Chris: Oh yeah! I stopped watching after Elliot left Keith at the altar.

Andrew: Elliot. $$

Chris: She is quite attractive.

Andrew: She also has awesome hair.
Andrew: I can't remember what I was going to say about Dave.

Chris: LOL You think you're like Dave?

Andrew: A little, but only because of something the guy that plays him said in an interview.

Chris: What did he say?

Andrew: That is what I can't remember!
Andrew: Something like, he acts cool whereas in fact he is slightly in awe of these guys.

Chris: LOL I would be too.

Andrew: I take it you get the comparison?

Chris: I do.

Andrew: Mystique... :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: So I don't get how it can work the other way around.

Chris: -shrugs-

Andrew: I shouldn't dwell on these things.

Chris: Probably not.

Andrew: Or just stop considering some people higher or lower in terms of whether they would like me. :P

Chris: True, true.
Chris: See, when we do end up living together, I think it'll be like FotC.

Andrew: Just not as well written.

Chris: True.

Andrew: I hope it will last more than two series' as well.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: But my anecdotes could become songs.

Chris: Hooray!

Andrew: Lee Van Cleef smoking a pipe. Piercing stare, but with an air of intellect.

Chris: I like it.

Andrew: We can get large comfy chairs and sit about smoking pipes. (Only I will pretend or have a bubble pipe)

Chris: LOL

Andrew: A naked woman bathing!

Chris: :P

Andrew: The barman looks like Randy from My name is Earl.
Andrew: Dude, he unrolled a blanket on the side of his horse and had like 4 rifles there!

Chris: O.O

Andrew: He then selected one and proceeded to shoot the buck tooth guy who was riding away.

Chris: Any cougar attacks?

Andrew: Not yet. Just some old school Clint western action.

Chris: Well, I gotta go.
Chris: Peace, dude.

Andrew: Cya later.

Happy Birthday, Andrew and Environmentalism to the Extreme! [June]

6th June 2010

Andrew: I have returned!

Chris: Damn! I'd just gotten back from the hardware store with some cyanide.

Andrew: Since when can you buy cyanide in hardware stores?

Chris: Did I say hardware store? I meant black market.

Andrew: Fair enough, I would expect there to be at least one hardware stall at the black market.

Chris: There is.
Chris: But "hardware" usually consists of acetylene welding torches, barbed wire, and plutonium.

Andrew: Weapons grade plutonium?

Chris: Nothing but.

Andrew: 'Cause that's the stuff you want.

Chris: -nods- Can't make weapons out of non-weapons grade.

Andrew: I think that is kinda obvious.

Chris: I mean, you could, because plutonium is pretty nasty, but anything worthwhile has to have weapons-grade.

Andrew: Back. >.<

Chris: BRB
Chris: Fag

Andrew: Ok.

Chris: Back fag

Andrew: WB

Chris: Thanks.
Chris: So what are your plans for tomorrow?

Andrew: BBQ

Chris: Nice!
Chris: Happy almost birthday, BTW
Chris: :)
Chris: I'll make your birthday thread in two hours when it's actually midnight in the UK. :P
Chris: HOLY CHIZZ

Andrew: You mean like now?
Andrew: Its been Sunday for about 40 minutes.

Chris: So I came to realize.
Chris: :P

Andrew: Oh and thank you. :P

Chris: But birthday thread = made. :)

Andrew: I'll wait for the +1s before replying.
Andrew: I had my monitor switched off, which was why I wasn't prompt in replying here.
Andrew: BRB
Andrew: Back.

Chris: Yay!

Andrew: So found anything else to talk about for LOLage?
Andrew: Yay, random people did honour my b-day!

Chris: Yay!

Andrew: Plus as its now 1am I am officially 25!
Andrew: Ugh.

Chris: Hurrah!
Chris: BRB

Andrew: K.

Chris: Back

Andrew: Hey!

Chris: :P

Andrew: Well.
Andrew: His jacket had an erection. :O

Chris: Whose jacket?

Andrew: John Marston's.

Andrew: And again it would appear.

Chris: I see.
Chris: I have no idea who that is.

Andrew: From Red Dead Redemption.

Chris: Ah

Andrew: It goes straight through his middle and out infront.

Chris: O.O

Andrew: I know.
Andrew: This is going well.

Chris: Indeed. Sorry for the lack of convo. I'm fuming.

Andrew: I'm playing RDR, so I can hardly comment. What are you fuming about?

Chris: People's sudden loss of humanity and compassion when it comes to BP execs.

Andrew: Ah. Yeah I can imagine they might get like that.

Chris: It's not like they did it on purpose.

Andrew: Quite. The fact that it was an experimental one.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: It would have been a great success if this hadn't happened.
Andrew: Unfortunately this isn't something that's funny.

Chris: :P

Andrew: Clearly the inhumanity isn't either if its got you fuming.
Chris: -nods- I'm not fuming about the oil spill because, while it's a disaster, BP -is- actually heading the cleanup effort and taking responsibility for it.

Andrew: As usual, its easy to judge and something we are all guilty of.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Those are my wise words of the day.

Chris: :)
Chris: You're getting wise in your advanced age.

Andrew: That is what happens when you get older.

Chris: :P
Chris: I wish to have nacho fingers.

Andrew: Is that when you finger-bang a Mexican?

Chris: Depends on what you mean by fingerbang.

Andrew: There's more than one definition?

Chris: Well, where would this fingerbanging occur?

Andrew: I just meant the act in general.

Chris: Oh

Andrew: What perchance did you mean?

Chris: Wouldn't you like to know? :P

Andrew: That was the intention of my question, being as it was, a question.

Chris: :P
Chris: So guess what my most visited website is?

Andrew: Misty gets gangbanged over and over?

Chris: No.
Chris: Even more than that.

Andrew: Dunno.

Chris: Tvguide.com

Andrew: I see.

Chris: :P

Andrew: An amazing insight into your life there.
Andrew: That dude is crazy for the cannibis.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: So what you up to now?

Chris: Being incredibly bored.

Andrew: Well I shall help that by leaving. Cya later.

Chris: Laters.

Cannibalism and Behind the Scenes [June]

5th June 2010

Chris: So I've decided that you're a liar.

Andrew: Why?

Chris: Remember how you said you sent the chats?

Andrew: Yes.

Chris: You didn't.

Andrew: Really? Oh.

Chris: :P

Andrew: It says I sent it.

Chris: Gmail says you didn't. :P

Andrew: Forwarded.

Chris: Ah, damnit.

Andrew: Did you just find it? :P

Chris: Hotmail didn't forward it to Gmail.

Andrew: Boom.

Chris: Just send the chats to [email] from now on.

Andrew: So its all the latest ones. After that, other than this current one, there will
only be old ones.

Chris: Sweet. We can do "Retro" specials.

Andrew: There were a few I missed out as they were rubbish.

Chris: -nods- Good.

Andrew: So we are at least in a decent position now.

Chris: ^_^
Chris: Doggie style?

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Now just to drum up some excitement for it. So I need it in my sig ready for tomorrow.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Should I copy yours?

Chris: -shrugs- It would be easy.

Andrew: I was thinking of adding something like "Immaturity awaits."

Chris: DO IT.

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Did I even spell it correctly?

Chris: Yes.
Chris: So sayeth the spell check.
Chris: Added.

Andrew: GIVE ME YOUR SIG CODE!

Chris: What's the magic word?

Andrew: NOW!

Chris: :)
Chris: [Boring code rubbish]
Chris: There you go.

Andrew: That link doesn't work, this explains the 404 error.

Chris: -laughs- You can't click on it in here.

Andrew: I meant the actual link. :P
Andrew: Someone I showed yesterday said it didn't work either. This all makes sense now.
Andrew: It should be http://sothisislaughter.blogspot.com/

Chris: Yes, it should. I was rectifying this error as we spoke.
Chris: [Re-edited but equally boring code]

Andrew: That wouldn't have helped. :P

Chris: :P
Chris: Why not?

Andrew: Because anyone who attempted to look wouldn't have been able to.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: Because of course, that's the problem.

Chris: :P
Chris: Of course.

Andrew: So. Said person that I was talking to, suggested we talk about new items.
Andrew: Which I think we had thought of before.

Chris: All new convos posted.
Chris: New items? Like what?

Andrew: News* :/

Chris: News bores me.

Andrew: Well new items then, like future inventions!

Chris: Hmmmm...what would the most useful invention ever be?

Andrew: Already invented?

Chris: LOL IRL
Chris: Oh, so I got a UStream channel.

Andrew: Its an easy answer.

Chris: Okay, so what is a useful invention that hasn't been invented yet?

Andrew: I thought it was one that had been invented!

Chris: Let me rephrase the question.
Chris: What invention do you think would be useful, but hasn't been invented yet?

Andrew: Hmm.
Andrew: Some sort of teleportation device would be useful.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: What about one that would be like a portal so you could pee wherever you wanted and still have it go into your toilet?

Andrew: Yes, which is a bit like the thing in that Family Guy episode. The difference in that being that it is sent to an alternate dimension.

Chris: Or like the Simpsons. :P

Andrew: I think that's the universe where Religion or maybe just Christianity never existed.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: So it didn't inhibit scientific advance.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: So your friend wants us to talk about news?

Andrew: Not exactly, it was merely a suggestion of something to talk about. As I said we needed ideas.

Chris: Ah.
Chris: I found an interesting news story.

Andrew: At least for the original idea we did, so jokes could occur.

Chris: :P

Andrew: Seeing as that was the whole intention in the first place.

Chris: So there's this guy who was driving in upstate New York and went off the road because he swerved to avoid a deer.
Chris: Can you guess what he survived on?
Chris: Oh, and they found him 4 days later.

Andrew: His dead passenger?

Chris: No passengers.

Andrew: His own leg?

Chris: That's kinda creepy. I was just thinking that.

Andrew: Did he crash into someone after avoiding the deer?

Chris: No.

Andrew: Drinking his own pee?

Chris: He drank SOMETHING.

Andrew: Jizz?

Chris: You wish.

Andrew: Quite the opposite infact, though that would be amusing.
Andrew: I have no idea then. What?

Chris: Swamp water.

Andrew: Why?

Chris: ...he crashed into a swamp?
Chris: It's not like there was a soda machine. :P

Andrew: Then I fear my image of America has been highly influenced by hollywood.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: BRB laundry

Andrew: I am off now anyway, cya later.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Getting Lucky and More Cougars [June]

3rd June 2010

Chris: I went to Subway and hopped behind the counter because all of the employees were busy in the back. A woman came in and asked for a footlong...needless to say, I went to jail.

Andrew: I went to a popular supermarket over here after I had finished work. I was still in my work clothes and some old woman asked if I on duty.
Andrew: Needless to say, I wasn't.
Andrew: I'm gonna BBL, I have to do a couple of things which I would have done already if I hadn't dozed off.

Chris: Okay. Later

Andrew: This monitor is showing a Blu-Ray image witch is displayed in 1080p high definition.
Andrew: I actually saw that today.

Chris: Really?

Andrew: Yes.
Andrew: I should have taken a picture of it.
Andrew: I have also seen "No job to small" on the back of a van.

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: So I have a minor situation to briefly talk about.

Chris: Do tell.

Andrew: When I was walking out of the shop where I had seen said message, the girl at the checkout said "cya later". I totally missed a chance at some flirtage there. I could have said "not if I see you first," or "only if I'm lucky." Or maybe something like "oh really? (with a cheeky wink)". But all I came out with was "bye."

Chris: Anything you typed to me In the last two minutes will ahve to be resent.

Andrew: When I was walking out of the shop where I had seen said message, the girl at the checkout said "cya later". I totally missed a chance at some flirtage there. I could have said "not if I see you first," or "only if I'm lucky." Or maybe something like "oh really? (with a cheeky wink)". But all I came out with was "bye."

Chris: LOL!

Andrew: Bad times.
Andrew: So how are you?

Chris: Well. I just finished enjoying a bag of BBQ ranch kettle chips.

Andrew: Nice.

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: Well, whats next?

Chris: Oatmeal raisin cookie.

Andrew: I thought I saw a fox then, but it turned out to be a horse in the distance.
Andrew: I just received an email from Windows Live. Probably someone else saying "I've got some new panties, wanna see?"

Chris: And, of course, you'll click.

Andrew: I only did for the first one, as I thought it was from you.

Chris: Sorry. No pictures of me in my underwear online...yet.

Andrew: :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: I don't plan to be the first person to see one when you do.

Chris: Not that you know of.

Andrew: Stupid cougar came out of no where and attacked me again!
Andrew: Bitch!

Chris: Damnit! Did she slip you a roofie?

Andrew: No, there was an offer of motor boating.

Chris: ...and you didn't take it...why?

Andrew: The motor boating was a lie!

Chris: It usually is. :(

Andrew: Yes.

Chris: They just want to talk about feelings.

Andrew: Seriously, enough with the cougars!

Chris: Best headline ever: McDonald's in France serves up young gay love.

Andrew: :-O
Andrew: I wonder what it tasted like.

Chris: A Big Mac?

Andrew: Oh.

Chris: -shrugs-

Andrew: Is there some kind of Kenneth invasion on PB at the moment?

Chris: It appears so.

Andrew: Shame.
Andrew: I posted in your Spongebob thread and it died.

Chris: Sorry. Had to take care of a potential business transaction.

Andrew: Ok.

Chris: :P
Chris: Eh, it's okay.
Chris: I wasn't particularly attached to it anyway.

Andrew: Thought so.

Chris: :P

Andrew: So how many people have you told about the blog yet?

Chris: What's 0 + 0?

Andrew: 8?

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: :/

Chris: Well, it's naptime.

Andrew: Have fun.

Chris: I always do.

Cougars and Teaching [June]

1st June 2010

Chris: My grandmother, who has hallitosis, got mugged the other day, so to make her feel safe, I got her some pepper spray.

Andrew: Yay?

Chris: when she sent me to get breath spraying and hairspray. Unfortunately, the bottles looked similar and the labels fell off...

Andrew: :/

Chris: Fucking touch screen keyboard and predictive text.

Andrew: I've started using my graphics pad for a mouse again. But least I still get a keyboard.

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Why not.

Chris: Dunno.

Andrew: Yeah.

Chris: I need a nap. :-(

Andrew: I might do as well, but i'll see what happens.

Chris: Isn't it 5pm there?

Andrew: Yep.

Chris: Hmmmm.

Andrew: I just got attacked by a bear!

Chris: Did you make bear sandwiches?
Chris: Mmmmm...bear sandwiches.

Andrew: No, I shot it.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: Then I got killed by a cougar.

Chris: Those women are vicious.

Andrew: Tell me about it. I had to put bait down to attract some, then rawrrrrr death.

Chris: This is why manicures and stiletto heels should be illegal.

Andrew: :P

Chris: I'll take that as an lol.
Chris: So my chances of moving to England are getting better.

Andrew: It was more or less a lol and how so?

Chris: My teaching license might actually hold water over there.

Andrew: Awesomeness!

Chris: :-)
Chris: Apparently, there are American military installations in England.

Andrew: Does that help?

Chris: Yes.
Chris: Military installations mean military families.

Andrew: I don't get it.

Chris: Lol

Andrew: :(

Chris: Military families mean children that need an American education.

Andrew: In America?

Chris: In England.

Andrew: :P

Chris: :-P

Chris: So I got word you might not be straight.

Andrew: From?

Chris: God herself.

Andrew: You wish.

Chris: I do. :-(

Andrew: :P

Chris: :-P
Chris: So I learned something else about strippers today. They don't give refunds.

Andrew: Only STI's.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: That's more of a gift, though.

Andrew: Like a souvenir.

Chris: ^^
Chris: It's one I'm happy to get, especially if it's AIDS

Andrew: Well obviously.

Chris: :)
Chris: So how'd your day go?

Andrew: Pretty well besides the usual lack of sleep. You?

Chris: The same, actually.

Andrew: Cool.

Chris: Mmmmmm. Subway.

Andrew: Subway tramps!

Chris: LOLChris: It's fun to make them do things for a quarter. That's a lot of money to them.

Andrew: I hate to think what things you make them do.

Chris: You wouldn't if you knew what they were! ^^

Andrew: :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: So what you up to now?

Chris: Eating and winding down.

Andrew: So, a couple of weeks ago I downloaded Minutes to Midnight.

Chris: Oh really? What'd you think of it?

Andrew: Eww.

Chris: -nods- Meteora was definitely LPs best work.

Andrew: Theres no edge to it.

Chris: Nope. Well, Given Up was good.

Andrew: I had given up after a couple of songs.

Chris: LOL
Chris: LOL Leave it up to Ireland to propose pay toilets on airplanes.

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Well i'm off, cyas later.

Chris: Laters.

Body Parts and Red Dead [May]

30th May 2010

Chris: So I tuned into a porn called "Misty Gets Gangbanged Again and Again" on TV, and I thought something was up when saw that "Misty" looked a lot like my mom. I came to the realization that, not only was "Misty" my mom, but I was watching a live feed from her bedroom.

Andrew: LOL

Chris: :P

Andrew: So what's a happenin'?

Chris: A three-day weekend, that's what.

Andrew: Yeah!

Chris: ^_^
Chris: Hows about you?

Andrew: Playing Red Dead for a change.

Chris: I have no desire to play that game.

Andrew: I have no desire to play with you.

Chris: That's a lie and you know it.

Andrew: Or is it?

Chris: It's not.

Andrew: Perhaps.

Chris: No.
Chris: There's no argument.

Andrew: Because I can't be bothered to argue.

Chris: :P
Chris: That's why I win most of the time.

Andrew: Lies.

Chris: Prove me wrong.

Andrew: No.
Andrew: I died.

Chris: Damnit. That's the third time this month.

Andrew: :(

Andrew: Don't you just hate it when your train gets attacked by rebels?

Chris: I hate nothing more than that.
Chris: So have you seen previews for Jonah Hex?

Andrew: I'm not sure.

Chris: LOL If you had, I would have said, "And did you pay attention to anything besides Megan Fox?" :P

Andrew: I think all i've seen is pics of her.

Chris: :P
Chris: She looks decent in this film.

Andrew: Good?

Chris: I guess. :P

Andrew: My line. :P

Chris: I see. :P

Andrew: The wooly blue curls are purple.

Chris: Say what?

Andrew: Then my horse died.

Chris: OH

Andrew: It's a metaphor. But it really happened.

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: I couldn't remember if you liked that or not.

Chris: I always do. :P

Andrew: Some woman just said "take whatever you want from my chest."

Chris: :)
Chris: Though i'd prefer to take the woman along with the breasts...

Andrew: You drive a hard bargain.

Chris: Don't I always?

Andrew: Sometimes you drive a car.

Chris: Yes, and other times, it's a knife into someone's (insert body part here)

Andrew: Car part?

Chris: ...did I NOT specify body parts?

Andrew: Door?

Chris: -sigh-

Andrew: :)

Chris: :)

Andrew: I'm on a train!

Chris: I'm naked!

Andrew: Yay! So is this gonna be uploaded?

Chris: Of course. :)
Chris: Except for the bad opener. (Which was removed :P)

Andrew: Obviously, we should try and hide secret messages in here or something.
Andrew: Or go... PLEASE COMMENT!

Chris: ...you mean you haven't been?

Andrew: No, I just like saying AIDS.

Chris: I already knew that.

Andrew: I walked into a pig.

Chris: I walked into an elevator shaft.

Andrew: The pig was hanging from the ceiling.

Chris: The elevator shaft was recessed into the wall.

Andrew: Mmmm shotguns.

Chris: Brb fag

Andrew: K

Chris: Back

Andrew: WB

Chris: Ugh. I think I'm gonna lay down for a bit.
Chris: I just got tired.
Chris: BBL

Andrew: Ok. Bye

Bewbz and Laundry [May]

29th May 2010


Andrew: Hayley Williams has cool bewbz.

Chris: I don't often look at her bewbz, strangely enough.

Andrew: She showed me them and I said "cool."

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: She showed the rest of the internet as well. :/

Chris: When did this happen?

Andrew: At some point yesteday I think.

Chris: Hm.

Andrew: I only know as it was talked about in a vid on YT.

Chris: LOL

Andrew: I immediatly paused said video and clicked on the link. :P

Chris: What did it take you to?

Andrew: Bewbz. :/

Chris: Were they nice bewbz?

Andrew: I would say so yes. :P
Andrew: As bewbz go.

Chris: :P

Andrew: (Linkage)

Chris: Eeentaresting.

Andrew: Yes. Oh I have two other things to talk about!

Chris: A whole two!?

Andrew: Yes, like the number of bewbz on most females!

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: Why is your name on FB Andrew?

Chris: Because you touch yourself at night.

Andrew: I don't see what that has to do with it.

Chris: It's the same reason why the dinosaurs died.

Andrew: Whats that got to do with you using my name? :P

Chris: Did you forget that I'm also named Andrew?

Andrew: Did you forget that your name is Chris?

Chris: Apparently.

Andrew: There we go then.
Andrew: The was that I think I had a dream involving you last night. I just can't remember what happened in it now.

Chris: Hmmmm.

Andrew: Kinda lame now yes.

Chris: Sorry. Had to go get Gatorade.

Andrew: Fair enough.

Chris: :P
Chris: Fruit punch isn't as interesting as you, though.

Andrew: Fair enough again.

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: Do you have anything to share?

Chris: Not particularly.
Chris: Nothing interesting's happened to me in a while.

Andrew: Oh.

Chris: BRB Laundry

Andrew: Yup.

Chris: Back

Andrew: WB

Chris: OMG
Chris: So I do have an interesting story.

Andrew: :-O

Chris: The lead singer of one of my favorite bands is following me on Twitter.

Andrew: :-O
Andrew: Who?

Chris: John Balicanta.

Andrew: I thought so.

Chris: ?

Andrew: :P

Chris: :P
Chris: Dude, you can monitor when the washing machines and dryers become available online!
Chris: ^_^

Andrew: How awesome is that!

Chris: It's the next best thing to internet porn.

Andrew: Just imagine if you could watch them!

Chris: There was a couple making out in there earlier...

Andrew: A couple of washing machines?

Chris: I wish.

Andrew: :P
Andrew: So I attempted to get to the blog from my phone earlier and got a 404.

Chris: Uh-oh.

Andrew: I just went there then though, its fine.

Chris: Good. You worried me for a second.

Andrew: I started reading the content terms at lunch :P

Chris: :P And at what conclusion did you arrive?

Andrew: It could have been that. :P

Chris: :P
Chris: Cock?

Andrew: No, it could have been removed due to the content. You still haven't uploaded the latest one I sent.

Chris: No I have not.
Chris: I;ve rectified this.

Andrew: ^^

Chris: Mmmmm...nakedness

Andrew: So this means i'll have to sort some more out doesn't it.

Chris: Yes, yes it does.

Andrew: That'll give me something to do at the weekend.

Chris: ^_^
Chris: I can imagine that monday's not a holiday in the UK

Andrew: :-O

Chris: :P
Chris: LOL I poked fun at ASE.

Andrew: :-O

Chris: :P
Chris: Check my post in the "zombies" thread.

Andrew: I first read that like poke in ass.
Andrew: (After looking at the post) I don't get it.

Chris: :P
Chris: You wouldn't.

Andrew: :/

Chris: :P
Chris: Ugh. yet another fad sweeping GT.

Andrew: I take it you mean the zombies thing?

Chris: Yes.

Andrew: Whats it all about so I don't have to read it.

Chris: I have no idea.

Andrew: Oh.

Chris: :P

Andrew: My fad is not posting.

Chris: I love it, Max!

Andrew: Is funny 'cause its true.
Andrew: New Guild. ^^

Chris: Huh?

Andrew: The Guild. New ep.

Chris: Ah. I love "Do you wanna date my avatar."

Andrew: I know.

Chris: I've gotta go.

Andrew: Ok, bye.

Chris: Bye

Friday, May 28, 2010

Kickboxing [April]

09&10/04/10

Andrew: Do I have a story for you!

Chris: Do you?

Andrew: Yup

Chris: Do tell, then.

Andrew: Well Wednesday I was kick boxing as usual.
Andrew: And I had to use the bathroom. :P
Andrew: Being as it is a changing room, it also has showers.
Andrew: Can you tell where this is going.
Andrew: ?

Chris: Kinda, but go on.

Andrew: So a couple of guys came when while I was in the toilet and apparently they were going to shower. When I opened the door and came out, this nude guy walks across in front of me.

Andrew: :-O

Chris: :O

Andrew: BUT, his arm was right in the way of his wang. By some bizarre coincidence.

Andrew: But thats not all!

Chris: O.O
Chris: Don't keep me waiting!

Andrew: So after I went back upstairs to see the guys (as in the people I was waiting for kick boxing with). Then as we had to get ready for the lesson, we went to the changing room to get ready. However this was a different changing room.
Andrew: But that one turned out to be locked, so we had to go to the other ones. I said to the others there might be people in there. Then when we went in they had just finished and it was moon city right there.

Chris: XD

Andrew: We LOL'd.
Andrew: I also received compliments!

Chris: On your wang?

Andrew: No, thats only from you.

Chris: Oh.

Andrew: Regarding my strength.
Andrew: One was that my punches are stronger now.
Andrew: The other was that i'm stronger than I look and its weird. ^^

Chris: :P

Andrew: Its most likely down to the increase in facial hair i've had recently.

Chris: ^^
Chris: You manly man, you!

Andrew: I should start wet shaving to really set it off.

Andrew: So what are you up to that's making you not talk. Like.

Chris: Typing a rather extensive reply to someone.

Andrew: Ah, like "..........................................................................................................................................................XD"?

Chris: No.

Andrew: I may go for a while then.

Chris: I have to leave earlier than usual anyway.

Andrew: I fortunately don't know when you leave anyway.

Chris: I'm leaving around 8:50 PM, your time.

Chris: *7:50.

Andrew: Then you've already left!

Chris: ...what time is it there?
Chris: OH
Chris: NVM
Chris: It is 8:50 GMT, as I seem to have forgotten that you're in DST as well.

Andrew: Dude Sexy Time?

Chris: Daylight Savings Time. Stupid farmers.

Andrew: More time for pudding.

Chris: I have no pudding, sadly.

Andrew: I meant the farmers.

Chris: Oh.
Chris: So they can explore their sexualities?
Andrew: Bingo.

Chris: :)

Andrew: More time for that as well.

Andrew: Shouldn't you be off. :P

Chris: No.

Andrew: :/
Andrew: Should you be on?

Chris: Perhaps.

Andrew: Well.
Andrew: I also have another story I just remembered.

Chris: You've got four minutes.

Andrew: When we were doing our pre-session session. We did this exercise where you do a situp and punch some pads then when you go back down, you get hit in the chest. For toughening you stomach up etc.
Andrew: When it was my turn and I went down after the first sit up, Sammy hit me with a back hand. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard and was like "What have I done to you?"

Chris: :P
Chris: Okay, I'm off.

Andrew: Then everyone.... died. Bye.

Chris: XD
Chris: Tell me later. I may be on.

Andrew: Ok

Chris: HEY YOU

Andrew: Hey Jew ^^

Chris: ^^

Chris: I'm only half Jew, so I'm just a little Jewish.

Andrew: Co-ink-e-dink

Chris: ^_^
Chris: So, did you miss me?

Andrew: I filled the gap with Tekken and someone else.

Chris: :(

Andrew: More importantly, did you miss me?

Chris: Don't I always?

Andrew: Dunno.

Chris: OF COURSE I DO.

Andrew: Maybe.
Andrew: I seem to say maybe to anything recently, its awesome.

Chris: :P

Andrew: So to continue the story. Everyone cracked up.

Chris: Yay!

Andrew: There was much rejoicing.
Andrew: Then I got hit more.

Chris: HOT

Andrew: Chris (another), said that some fighter used to get punched in the chest before fights, to make his 6 pack stick out.

Chris: O.o

Andrew: Clearly I should try that.

Chris: I thought you were ripped!

Andrew: Its the internet, I can lie.
Andrew: No, my arms are the most toned thing i've got.
Andrew: They aren't especially toned.
Andrew: I need to do loads of abs exercises, so I can get an uber 6 pack to impress you with

Chris: You already impress me!

Andrew: Yay! ^^
Andrew: How do I impress you?

Chris: With your sheer awesomeness. :)

Andrew: Pffft.

Chris: :P

Chris: Oh, I'm on the radio in...7 hours. :)

Andrew: Oh
Andrew: I'm in bed then. :/

Chris: :P

Andrew: Why so late?

Chris: Relay for Life. I'm fighting cancer.
Chris: Rather, beating people with cancer up.

Andrew: Live?
Andrew: Fight People, Help Hunger!

Chris: Yep!

Andrew: Cool

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: Most compendable.

Chris: Quite.

Andrew: Brief.

Chris: :)

Andrew: Maybe.

Chris: Anywho.

Andrew: …

Chris: So...how about...stuff?

Andrew: I've shared all the stuff.

Chris: I have nothing, per usual.

Andrew: Not good enough.

Chris: Damnit.

Andrew: What do I hire you for?

Chris: 20 quid a day,

Andrew: I keep playing with my hair and licking my mustache.

Chris: :P

Andrew: How do people survive with mantaches and not lick them all the time!Chris: I do it all the time.

Andrew: Yours or other peoples?

Chris: What do you think? ^^

Andrew: Womens.

Chris: You got it!

Andrew: :P

Chris: :)

Andrew: I might just not shave for a year and see what happens. Or go for a Musketeer style.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Maybe we should talk about music or something.

Chris: Yes. I like music.

Andrew: Then we have something in common!

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: What have your latest musical findings been?

Chris: Evanescence is coming out with another album this year.

Andrew: I see, that wasn't quite what I meant.
Andrew: Though i've not heard that through the grapevine of music news from YT.

Chris: Hm.
Chris: It's on their site.

Chris: I still got nothing.

Andrew: But, but... music!

Chris: Musique?

Andrew: Either

Chris: I see.

Andrew: You should hear.

Chris: Hear what?

Andrew: Music.

Chris: Shove the song of the sparrow up your ass!

Andrew: A family of sparrows have a nest up my ass. :/

Chris: Mine is a pack of badgers.

Andrew: A whole set?

Chris: Indeed.
Chris: I believe there's about six or seven.

Andrew: Cause badgers have sets.

Chris: Ah.
Chris: I was mistaken. It's a murder of crows.

Andrew: Correct.
Andrew: And a rape of virgins.

Chris: Of course. Laters.

Andrew: Maybe.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

AIDS and Stories [April]

06-04-10


Chris: Loverman!

Andrew: Oh!

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Billboards caused lols.

Chris: I loved all of them, especially the Asian and gang rapist ones.

Andrew: The gang rape one was my favourite I think.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: Or the Portsmouth history one.

Andrew: The AIDS one because of the AIDS.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: And the Braille on the Stevie Wonder billboard.

Andrew: Yes and the rest of them.

Chris: ALL OF THEM
Chris: Though the first one, I dedicate especially to you. ;)

Andrew: I forgot it already.
Andrew: I did enjoy that one.

Chris: :P
Chris: You sure will!

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Wait what!?

Chris: Huh?

Andrew: Don't worry.

Chris: :)

Andrew: So how goes it?

Chris: Oh, just reading through my big story that's due today.

Andrew: Fun.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: I may be done.
Chris: Would you like to read it? I'd like someone else's opinion on it.

Andrew: :-O

Chris: :P

Andrew: I'd ask someone that knows about words.

Chris: :P
Chris: I'm pretty confident that it doesn't need any editing. I just need to see if it's good or not.

Andrew: I'm playing Tekken. :/

Chris: :P

Andrew: Now I died.
Andrew: How big is it?

Chris: I already told you that! ^^

Andrew: :P

Chris: Um, I don't actually know.
Chris: sends (null)
Chris: 96 K

Andrew: Failed.

Chris: Damnit

Andrew: I still haven't sent you that wp.

Chris: I know. :P
Chris: But I sent you my story.

Andrew: It was a virus. :(

Chris: Oh?

Andrew: No.
Andrew: How soon do I have to read it, as I read slow.

Chris: Preferably before 1 AM Your time.

Andrew: Its 7 pages.

Chris: Aye, but double spaced.

Andrew: Maybe.

Chris: ^^
Chris: Oh, you.

Andrew: Damn it, you interrupted me. I'll have to start again now!

Andrew: The lack of inter species erotica disappointed me.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: As did your use, perhaps even over use of semi-colons.

Chris: Overuse?

Andrew: The fact that you use them. ^^

Chris: XD

Andrew: It was good. I see nothing wrong with it, but what i've already mentioned.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Which isn't important.

Chris: Did you get what had happened to her?

Andrew: AI... coma.

Chris: :P

Chris: But why she was in the coma.

Andrew: AI... probably not.

Chris: Hm.

Andrew: Is it obvious?

Chris: It shouldn't be.

Andrew: Yay.

Chris: Well, her father raped her.

Chris: If that wasn't too obvious.

Andrew: Nope. But it does put me off making an amusing reply.

Chris: XD

Chris: Which would have been?

Andrew: At Disneyland.

Chris: XD

Andrew: Or ...so thats how she got AIDS.
Andrew: I need to stop saying that so much. Its a result of everything at work.

Chris: You can never get enough AIDS. ^^

Andrew: Thats not true. When you do have too many its called AIDZ.

Chris: What does the zed stand for?

Andrew: Ten esses.

Chris: HURRAH!

Andrew: I thought you were the Engwish master.

Chris: I didn't know that.

Andrew: I didn't either, when will you learn. :P

Chris: Never, apparently. :P

Andrew: Well, at least it won't get old that quickly then.

Chris: AIDS will never get old. ^^

Andrew: Unless you become an old AIDS pensioner.

Chris: True.

Andrew: See now.
Andrew: Do you think it would be easy to deal with having AIDS, if you make jokes about it all the time?

Chris: Probably.
Chris: Then again, it's treatable.
Chris: I'd rather get AIDS or HIV than cancer.

Andrew: Yeah, though the same can be applied to any disease.

Chris: Except for flesh-eating viruses.

Andrew: I don't plan to make jokes about those though.

Chris: And why the hell not?

Andrew: I don't know any of the names.

Chris: Awwwwww.
Chris: Well, I gotta go, but I'll be signed on when I get home.

Andrew: Ok.

Cowboy Bebop and Drugs [April]

04-04-10

Chris: ...and, in the end, I learned that kids shouldn't be given speed, no matter how funny you think it is to hand it out at the preschool and tell them it's sugar.

Andrew: The same trick works with Rohipnol.(sp?)

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: How goes it?

Chris: Not too bad. You?

Andrew: I am good. It appears I have lots of chocolate now.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: I may have to eat some more now. :/
Andrew: I am.

Chris: I want some. :(

Andrew: You're the only one... wait you meant chocolate.
Andrew: Are you up to exciting things?

Chris: That I am. BRB

Andrew: Ok.

Chris: Back.

Andrew: You do look good from behind.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: I was gonna say better, but decided that was harsh.
Andrew: So I posted my 800th post today!

Chris: ^^
Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: No.
Andrew: Understatement is my thing now.
Andrew: Or lack of enthusiasm.

Chris: True.
Chris: It seems like the same is true for me.

Andrew: So hurrah is a lie?

Chris: No.

Andrew: Ah.
Andrew: One day left before work.

Chris: :(
Chris: I have class and work tomorrow.

Andrew: :(
Andrew: Are you working now?

Chris: Yes, but I'm typing up a post on PBS

Andrew: :-O

Chris: All done!

Andrew: commander cool? :P

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Complete with spelling pwnage.

Chris: $$
Chris: I love bitch slapping people when they think they're right.

Andrew: I await that moment with something.

Chris: Huh?

Andrew: I couldn't think of a suitable word.

Chris: Oh.

Andrew: Apprehension perhaps.

Chris: BTW, I want your Spike wallpaper.

Andrew: I want your.... Oh its different now, but you can still have it.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: I have an animated wallpaper now.

Chris: O.O

Andrew: Its what all the cool kids have, when it works. :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: I did have a rotating earth, but now its sand with rain drops and wateriness.

Chris: Ooooooooooh

Andrew: I could attempt to get a vid of it.

Chris: :)

Andrew: Or just my whole mis-match of a desktop. Unless I get it matched. :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: A pic!

Chris: ?

Andrew: Yours!

Chris: O.O

Andrew: You don't normally post your face.

Chris: Oh.

Andrew: I haven't looked at the big version yet though.

Chris: :P It doesn't look much different from the small one

Andrew: I've heard that about you. :/

Chris: From who?

Andrew: People.
Andrew: >.>
Andrew: Mmmm.

Chris: ?

Andrew: Food.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Sandwiches.

Chris: Mmmmm.

Andrew: In Mother Russia, you are the filling.

Chris: Aren't I usually?

Andrew: In THE WORLD, you are the filling.

Chris: $$

Andrew: I've never wanted to be bread more than at this moment.

Chris: I can imagine so.

Andrew: Who would be the other slice?

Chris: You would, because you're so awesome!

Andrew: Maybe it should be you and I as the bread with a female inbetween?

Chris: YES

Andrew: But who?!

Chris: I have no idea.

Andrew: A cat or something. :/

Chris: Well, at least we'd be fucking pussy. ^^

Andrew: Not as accomodating to our big meats though.

Chris: True.

Andrew: Clearly we should embark upon a search for someone to fill that gap when you come over here.

Chris: -nods-

Chris: I love your wording.

Andrew: Its a gift.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: $$
Andrew: I learned it somewhere.

Chris: From an old man?

Andrew: No, through being lame at English.

Chris: ^^
Chris: Hurrah!
Chris: Good things DO come from that!

Andrew: That was a mistake.

Chris: Like getting superpowers from toxic waste?

Andrew: No, searching for help on a BG called Liquid Dream.

Chris: Oh.
Chris: Some guy in Germany said the island apes can suck his ass.

Andrew: I hope he enjoys that.
Andrew: Skype?

Chris: Nay. I'm taking to someone in Germany.

Andrew: Have they started offering you sausage yet?

Chris: Considering that he's gay, he might when he comes back to the states.

Andrew: :P
Andrew: Are you about to apply makeup in the pic?

Chris: No.
Chris: That's a wand.

Andrew: I bet thats what you say to all the ladies and gentlemen.

Chris: That I do!

Andrew: Maybe I would call it a wand, but I don't care for HP.
Andrew: Damn this BG and its lack of functioning.

Chris: :(

Andrew: Fuck it.

Chris: ?

Andrew: The BG.

Chris: Ah. Too frustrating?

Andrew: I don't understand why it doesn't work. When the free version of it does.

Chris: Ah.

Andrew: BRB/BBS

Chris: AGH> Only an hour left of work.

Andrew: Back.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: I think I killed the Ghost thread.

Chris: XD

Andrew: If I eventually get over 5000 posts, Thread Killer should be my custom title.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: I also can't think of anything "nerdy" to put in that thread.

Chris: You know what dubstep is. :P

Andrew: So do other people.
Andrew: I'm actually sorting through my Dubstep tunes now to see what frequencies they are. :P

Chris: :P

Andrew: All the cool kids are doing it.
Andrew: This could take a while.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Besides the ones I've already checked.
Andrew: How long you got left?

Chris: 26 mins.

Andrew: As I thought.

Chris: BTW, you never gave me that Spike wp. :P

Andrew: I know. ^^
Andrew: How do you want it?

Chris: From behind.
Chris: Wait, what?

Andrew: :P

Chris: Email will be fine.

Andrew: Thats what i'm supposed to say.

Chris: Okay, I'm off.

Andrew: Bye.

Behind the Scenes [March]

03/05/10

Andrew: Woo!

Chris: ?

Andrew: Hey.

Chris: Hey.

Andrew: I still need to email you that convo, don't I.

Chris: No, you don't?

Andrew: Yesterdays one?

Chris: Yes, you do.

Andrew: I'll get on that now.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: I nearly forgot how to do it then.

Chris: Lol.
Chris: I'm watching N*Sync perform.

Andrew: I have one word for you "why?"

Chris: Sabrina the teenage witch.

Andrew: Good times.

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: It would be easier to send the whole thing again.

Chris: Which one?

Andrew: The chat log.

Chris: Oh, yeah. The whole thing.

Andrew: You'll just have to scroll to the bottom then.

Chris: Mmmkay.

Andrew: It is done.

Chris: Damn phone.

Andrew: :(

Chris: :-P

Andrew: So you should have the tag line for the blog as "Me trying to make you laugh." :P

Chris: Lol that's usually how it goes.

Andrew: Yup, I said that to someone I was talking about yesterday.

Chris: Me?

Andrew: It should also have some kind of parental guidence warning. :P
Andrew: No

Chris: And yes, it should. Because we say things like twat.

Andrew: It was more the rape jokes and things like that. :P

Chris: True.

Andrew: I'm not sure where that would be put though. As if it was on PB people would be like "what?"

Chris: You have to figure that our blog won't be read by minors.

Andrew: I don't care. :P

Chris: :-P

Andrew: But I know that that type of thing shouldn't be linked on PB.

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Content that could be dangerous for minors!

Chris: And miners.

Andrew: Fucking miners! They should be more like Sailors.

Chris: True.
Chris: I apologize if I stop talking completely. I'm drifting in and out of consciousness.

Andrew: Thats ok, i'll only touch you a little bit.

Chris: How about a lot?

Andrew: There will be a testing of the water stage, to see if you wake up. Then I will take full advantage.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Is there a time frame for this?

Chris: No.

Andrew: I have to go away and wash at some point.

Chris: Do ittttttt

Andrew: It would make sense to do it when i've finished.

Chris: True

Andrew: Soon I go.

Tekken and...Strippers? [March]

03-04-10

Chris: ^^

Andrew: Long time.

Chris: Always!

Andrew: Since we spoke last.

Chris: Oh.

Andrew: Not me love you long time. :P

Chris: And why the hell not?

Andrew: Thats a given isn't it?

Chris: Of course!
Chris: And with you...it's about as long as mine. :-P

Andrew: Long enough time we call that.

Chris: True.

Andrew: How goes it?

Chris: :/

Andrew: Oh. :/

Chris: It's 7:44am and I'm awake.

Andrew: Careless.

Chris: -nods-
Chris: Nothing to do now but fondle myself. :/

Andrew: Shame.

Chris: Mhm.

Andrew: I'm playing Tekken 6.

Chris: Not with yourself?

Andrew: Well no.

Chris: :-(
Chris: Why not?

Andrew: Too early for that.

Chris: It's 2pm.

Andrew: 3 infact.
Andrew: I got up at 1:40pm :P

Chris: :-P
Chris: You son of a bitch.

Andrew: An hour later than planned.

Chris: -_-

Andrew: :P

Chris: :-P

Andrew: This guy is supposed to be Russian but looks like a Nazi.

Chris: Lol

Andrew: :/
Andrew: Take that you fucking Egyptian bastard!

Chris: Oo

Andrew: The last boss is amazingly annoying.

Chris: Oh. What are you playing?

Andrew: Tekken 6.
Andrew: Hmm, workout time soon.

Chris: :-)
Chris: Going to get all hot and sweaty?

Andrew: I'm afraid you can't watch though.

Chris: :-(

Andrew: Not really, maybe a little red faced.
Andrew: Yay, beat him first time this time.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: I love how there are some English speaking characters and some Japanese. With the assumption that they all understand eachother.

Chris: That's a laugh riot.

Andrew: :P

Chris: :-P

Andrew: Yay.

Chris: :-)
Chris: :-P

Andrew: Now I feel like a man.

Chris: How so?

Andrew: Doing press-ups and stuff. :P

Chris: ^^
Chris: That's hot.

Andrew: Well that was 2 cycles, now to rest for a while. :P

Chris: Hooray!
Chris: So I went to a strip club last night, and I found out that strippers don't have souls.

Andrew: On their feet? :/

Chris: That, too.

Andrew: Well look at the job they do, would you expect them too?

Chris: One girl walked on her hands the whole time.

Andrew: Interesting, did you put the money into her "Terminal"?

Chris: I believe we've already established that never ends well. :-P

Andrew: Have we?

Chris: Yes.

Andrew: But you tried anyway, right?

Chris: I distinctly remember discussing the time I learned that strippers don't have coin slots or card readers with you. :-P

Andrew: You remembered something! :-O

Chris: Is this a shock?

Andrew: But how could you miss an opportunity like that. It would be like a coin toss on a toll road.
Andrew: Somewhat, you don't normally remember things.

Chris: You were saying?

Andrew: When?

Chris: Before I got signed off.
Chris: I asked if my remembering something was a shock to you?

Andrew: Somewhat, you don't normally remember things.

Chris: :-P
Chris: And?

Andrew: So?

Chris: Huh?

Andrew: :)

Chris: <3

Andrew: ^^

Chris: I'm playing tennis with a monkey!

Andrew: :-O

Chris: My balls are shocking her!

Andrew: That can be a problem.

Chris: Why?

Andrew: Shocking balls.
Andrew: You can't restring your own guitar?

Chris: I can.

Andrew: That wasn't the impression I got from your tweet.

Chris: :-P

Chris: Since when are you on twitter?

Andrew: I saw it on FB.

Chris: Ah. :-P

Andrew: Obviously. :P

Chris: Score with monkeys!
Chris: ^^

Andrew: Get AIDS!

Chris: That's a powerup. ^^

Andrew: :P

Chris: I thought you'd like that.

Andrew: Fuck this boss!

Chris: Lol

Andrew: No LOL
Andrew: I hate his face.
Andrew: I hatter his face.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: I hatter all over his face.

Chris: Hey! Me too!

Andrew: Workout time again. BRB

Chris: Kk

Andrew: Lovely job.

Chris: Kuraow.

Andrew: Maybe. :/
Andrew: Why can I never find threads to post in on PB. Should I become a spammer?

Chris: Aye.

Andrew: One more post and I have 800.

Chris: ^^

Andrew: I squated for like 3 minutes then. My legs are gonna love me tomorrow.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Indeed, although my feet were planted against the wall. :/

Chris: I unlocked pudding!

Andrew: Now you get to explore your sexuality!

Chris: Yay!

Andrew: Now I must go and feed a cat.

Chris: Later.

At Long Last [May]

Chris: You know, instead of doing podcasts, we should just save our MSN convos. They're far more interesting.

Andrew: You know, that thought did cross my mind.

Chris: :)

Chris: We could post them on deviantART.

Andrew: Maybe, or some other place.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: Or we could do both.

Chris: Blogspot?

Chris: I like that. We can just record our MSN convos.

Andrew: Or that. I meant, if people find them funny. Then we could try a "live" one?

Chris: -nods-

Chris: I like that.

Andrew: People might not get us. :P

Chris: :P

Chris: And? Not everyone (and by not everyone, I mean everyone who's not British) gets British humour.

Andrew: Fair point.

Chris: :P

Andrew: So they won't get me.

Chris: Nor me.
So it works.

Andrew: Then this could be really good or really bad.

Chris: Both. :)
Would you like to talk on Skype?

Andrew: I can't really as i'm on the old xbox live.

Chris: Hm.
This distresses me.

Andrew: :(
I do apologise.

Chris: :P

Andrew: You'll have to settle for this.

Chris: DAMN.

Andrew: Yep.
I might be able to Skype now.

Chris: Not me. :P

Andrew: Oh.
In that case I can't.

Chris: Yay!

Andrew: Why you can't you Skype?

Chris: I'm in the living room.

Andrew: So? :P

Chris: People are asleep

Andrew: Are you going to be loud, or are you enjoying watching them sleep?

Chris: Both.
^^

Andrew: So much for that then.

Chris: :P

Andrew: In that case, I have nothing more to say.

Chris: Damn.

Andrew: I know right.

Chris: I'm so disappointed in you.

Andrew: You feel quite disappointed in me. :/
Or disappointing.

Chris: True. Wait, I shouldn't.
BTW, did we come up with a title to the show?

Andrew: No.
All I have written down is "I made a funny" and "So this is laughter."

Chris: I like the latter.

Andrew: Maybe with a ? at the end.

Chris: -nods-

Andrew: That is all.
Any other ideas?

Chris: Nope.

Andrew: Cool.

Chris: So THIS is laughter?

Andrew: No, this is us chatting. :/

Chris: I know.

Andrew: ^^
That will do for now, then we can eventually keep it.

Chris: I'm setting up the blog,

Andrew: I'm doing nothing.

Chris: http://sothisislaughter.blogspot.com/2010/05/introduction.html

Andrew: My name. ^^

Chris: Indeed.

Andrew: What happens next?

Chris: I post this convo.

Chris: When we're done, that is...whenever that is.

Andrew: What about past convos?

Chris: I don't save them.

Andrew: I do.

Chris: O rly?

Andrew: Yup.

Chris: We can introduce past convos sporadically.

Andrew: I think some randomly got deleted, as I had a load from various people which were gone last time I checked. But I should have most of ours.

Chris: Hurrah!

Andrew: Starts last September.

Chris: That's a while ago.

Andrew: I think its when things started to click.

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: "I'm a crap detective. I can't even grow a moustache."

Chris: :)

Andrew: So much purple.

Andrew: Pre grammer! :-O

Chris: *grammar

Andrew: No.
Caps 'n' shit.

Chris: Hurrah!
And that should be a new cereal.

Andrew: I downloaded a politician once, but the file was corrupt.

Chris: LOL
IRL

Andrew: "All logical points must be supported illogical ones." I don't remember saying that.
I got a XD response from that last time.
And "See? You made a funny!"
It appears that October was when the Caps started.

Chris: ^_^

Andrew: Shall I send this to you?

Chris: Yes.

Andrew: How?

Chris: E-mail.

Andrew: It is done.
Theres a whole load of chats there. Though some bits appear to be missing, as they don't make sense.
Should I link the blog in my sig, in the hopes that when I eventually post next. Someone might click on it?

Chris: Yes.
I have.

Andrew: Can you copy and paste it here, so that it will look the same. :P

Chris: Yes.
But I gotta go. E-mail me that convo.
And save this one.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

An introduction

This is supposed to be an introduction, but how do you write an introduction for a blatant exhibit of pure nothingness? Well, you don't, and you can't expect one.